It's All Just a Dream, You Know?
by Krissby
Summary: With no other choice but to go back to the past, Kagome comes to terms with the effects of time, and how it will leave you behind if you're unwilling to go along.  Kagome X Sesshomaru.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **The anime/manga InuYasha and its themes and characters do not belong to me. Characters that do not appear in Rumiko Takahashi's work and this story itself, however, do.

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Mrs. Higurashi peered out the window of daughter's bedroom and saw the flashing lights of police cars in the not-so-far distance, heading towards the shrine. She breathed heavily and bit her lip. She guessed they had minutes at most.

"Do you have everything Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi flung the curtains shut as her daughter zipped up the last of her bags. Her daughter's hands were shaking, but her face was stern and ashen. Kagome looked at her mother and gave her a clipped nod. "Then come, we've no time to lose. If this doesn't work…"

She trailed off as they quickly descended the stairs and made their way towards the well house.

"If this doesn't work, we'll think of something," She muttered, trying to sound optimistic, as she opened the front door and peered out, looking this way and that, before rushing out, pulling Kagome by her sleeve.

Kagome remained silent as her mother led her, jaw clenched. Her mind was blank. She knew that she was in danger and her heart was pounding so hard that she could see her chest pulse with each beat, but there was a strange mechanical-like nature to her movements. It was as if her adrenaline had commandeered her mind and body as soon as she had heard from Eri that there was an order for her arrest. Eri's husband was a lieutenant in the Tokyo Police Department and though skeptical, was thankfully a sympathizer for Kagome, and had managed to keep her a step ahead of the police for as long as he could.

They could hear the sirens now, wailing in the distance. It was funny how frightening they became when one knew that they were coming for you.

"Come Kagome!" Mrs. Higurashi hissed and tugged at Kagome's elbow when she had turned back to look at her home once more. Even if the well didn't work, this would still probably be the last time she saw her home again.

Her heart ached with sadness, anger brewed in her mind, and her skin prickled with fear and apprehension. Despite it all, however, she couldn't deny that a part of her was exhilarated.

The Bone Eater's Well hadn't worked for 8 years and only too recently did she feel that all too familiar tug at her soul, just hours ago. Perhaps it knew that she had nowhere to go? Perhaps it knew that if she stayed, there was a good chance she'd die. Kagome had nearly snorted when that thought brushed her mind. Who'd have thought that her era would be more dangerous than the monster infested Feudal Era? When she had shared with her mother that peculiar feeling, she had immediately raced about the house and starting packing bags.

Kagome was to go back to the Feudal Era and hide for as long as she needed to. Months, years, decades… it didn't matter, as long as she could get away.

Kagome and her mother stood next to the well, peering down in to the black hole with identical, grim faces.

"Kagome…" Mrs. Higurashi took her daughter's shoulders in her hands and searched her eyes, "I want you to promise me that you won't try to return immediately. We'll be fine on our own."

The young miko smirked, "Even if there's a miko-eating demon waiting for me on the other side?"

"Kagome," Her mother's clipped voice scolded sternly. "Promise me. Promise that you'll wait _at least_ a year."

She looked away unhappily and eventually nodded begrudgingly.

The older woman's grip on her shoulders relaxed and she managed a tremulous smile. "Good, now go Kagome, I can hear the car doors slamming at the bottom of the stairs!"

Kagome shouldered and gripped her bags as she sat at the lip of the well and swung her legs over, shivering as the magnetic pull of magic began to tug at her. She looked over shoulder at the wonderful woman who had raised her and smiled, "I love you, Mama." She said as she leaned back and succumbed to the magic.

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As she stood at the edge of the forest, she caught her breath and rested a hand against a large tree. She gazed out at the village of Edo with tears in her eyes and a trembling smile on her lips. She had really made it back. Back to her other home, back to her other family, back to the person she had loved so much for so long. The village had only changed marginally, that she could tell. There were lots of new huts expanding the village, and some larger looking building toward the center which looked like storage. They were cultivating a large new field and the old, worn, beaten foot trail that had led towards the woods on the other side of the village looked like a real road now.

Kagome hadn't realized that she had started moving until she slightly stumbled over a depression in the ground, and she was lightly jogging. Her friends were bound to still be there and they would welcome her with open arms! Maybe, there would be children running around too! Little Sango and Mirokus running amok with their Uncle Inu Yasha. Kaede would be birthing a child or maybe she'd be out collecting herbs. Or maybe everyone had actually left the village already? She remembered Sango mentioning going back to the Slayer's Village a few times 8 years ago. There was a good chance that she'd be there now.

Her light jog had turned into a sprint as she neared the growing village, and she tried to ignore the stitch in her side, and the way her lungs screamed for air. Damn, she was out of shape.

"Kaede!" She shouted, "Sango! Miroku!" She passed startled, frightened villagers as she made her way to the center of the village. "Inu Yasha!" Kagome was confused; nothing looked the same! She whirled around to the nearest person, "Where are they?"

A disapproving man pointed towards the Eastern edge of the village, pulling his children behind him. Kagome smiled and bowed quickly before rushing away. Oh! She was so close!

"Inu Yasha!" She yelled desperately. She thought she was going to die and when she first caught a glimpse of his silvery hair, she nearly tripped over herself in relief.

The expression on his face was so heart wrenchingly shocked that she paid the tears streaming down her face no mind, and stopped in her tracks, just feet away from him. He looked exactly the same as when she had left. His red clothing… his long, thick white hair… his luminous golden eyes… and his two, furry ears, trained on her… it made her heart ache.

"Kagome…" He breathed, staring at her in disbelief.

Her lips trembled in to a smile and she gave an abrupt nod. Her feet tried to take her closer, but something held her back. There was something wrong with this. Why didn't he look happy? Why was he slightly shaking his head? Had she… been wrong in coming back?

"Inu Yasha?" It wasn't her voice that questioned the hanyou.

Ice poured in to Kagome veins. She tore her eyes away from the man she loved and to the woman over his shoulder, emerging from the hut they stood in front of.

Inu Yasha was no longer looking at her when she flicked her eyes back to his.

That explained why he only just stood there. The Inu Yasha she remembered would have normally rushed towards her and maybe yelled at her for being away for so long. At the very least, he would have started towards her before stopping and crossing his arms across his chest with his nose in the air, offering a "keh!" before enveloping her in his strong arms.

The hanyou in front of her, however, kept his eyes cast down, his hands visibly clenching and unclenching as he seemed to be struggling within himself. He didn't need to look back or smell her to know who had appeared in the doorway of the hut. Hana.

His wife.

Kagome's breath caught in her chest, weighing her down with a mountain of emotions as she looked upon the very pretty, young woman that stared back at her with a measure of apprehension in her eyes.

"Inu Yasha?" Her voice was small and timid, much like her physique. Her husband's hands clenched tightly, his eyes hidden by his bangs as he stubbornly refused to look up at the woman from the future, and his past, in front of him.

Kagome's unconscious will to live managed tiny, shallow inhalations, coming quickly and painfully. Her throat felt closed off. Her head felt fuzzy. Her feet felt stuck to the ground. Her eyes burned. Her heart continued to thud… painfully.

She turned around quickly as soon as she felt the first tear tumble over her lashes, her back hiding the anguish on her pale face. Her lip quivered as her breath shuddered thickly in her throat.

"Papa?" Another voice from the hut.

Kagome eyes widened in horror as she heard that tiny little voice. She couldn't help the small gasp that wretched from her throat. She stiffened and her quadriceps flexed and she involuntarily rocked onto the balls of her feet as the overwhelming need to sprint as far away from there as she could poured into her muscles. Adrenaline made the blood roar in her ears; her heart thudding wildly. That little voice confirmed what she saw, while simultaneously shooting down every little optimistic hope her heart retained in a pathetic effort to excuse what her eyes told her.

After 8 years, Kagome's former infallible innocence and faith had become somewhat depleted as she experienced more of the world. She had matured and grown. She had changed. She knew without a doubt that everyone on this side of the well would had to have also, but there was one thing that she hadn't counted on.

Inu Yasha had moved on.

Whereas, she had not.

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**AN: **Phew. And here starts my first fanfiction in two years. I may be a little rusty ;) Please enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Yep, still don't own it.**

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The smell of cooking rice woke her.

Without opening her eyes, Kagome pressed her forearm over them, and deeply pulled in the comforting aroma through her nose. Initially disoriented, she wondered if Mama had decided to stay home from work today… or maybe it was the weekend?

When she heard a rooster crowing, though, it all came forcibly back and she winced with the realization of where she really was. Her head cleared as her current condition began to filter in with the sounds of the village filling her with wistful nostalgia. Oh, what she wouldn't have given to have heard this again just a few short years ago. Cattle lowed in the distance. Children were laughing. Chickens were clucking and some sort of knocking or hammering against wood could be heard. She could hear the wind in the trees and a crow cawing on the roof overhead. It was… so painfully nostalgic.

"Kaede-sama, do you think that Kagome-sama has woken up yet?"

"I think that perhaps it is still early. I believe that Kagome-chan did not fall asleep until very late at night."

Kagome sighed and removed her arm, staring up at the hut's thatched roof despondently. She let her eyes roam about the small hut, listening to the two speakers outside walking up to Kaede's abode. She could tell that they were walking slowly, and heavily, perhaps carrying something. Kagome gazed at the pottery along the wall, along the thatch work of the roof and walls, at the rolled up futons and fabrics in the corner, at the dried fish hanging from the rafters, the herb baskets, and finally resting on her bags in the far corner. They stuck out in sharp contrast with their modern materials and colors against the terra cotta of the time she currently existed in.

It didn't seem real, any of it. It was like just another dream - all the sounds and familiar images of Kaede's home, carving a longing hole in her heart. Any moment she was going to truly wake up in her little pink bed, refreshed, and happy for a new day. She would wake up, and she wouldn't have to run anymore.

"But Kaede-sama, it is nearing mid-day! Should we wake her? It would be great to speak with her again!"

"Nay, child. It is best if we let her rest."

"Do you… think... she's all right…?" The voice was quieter.

Kaede paused and made some shifting noises outside of the door. "I am afraid I do not know. Kagome is a very expressive woman, but everyone, even Kagome, has things to keep to themselves sometimes."

"Like Sesshomaru-sama?"

Kaede chuckled, "Alas, I am not as privileged as ye Rin-chan to know if it is in Sesshomaru-sama's nature to rely on others or not, but I imagine that he is not one to share much of anything concerning what he is truly thinking or feeling."

Rin giggled and Kagome could almost see the girl nodding in affirmation.

Kagome exhaled through her noise and closed her eyes again. It definitely wasn't a dream. She wished vehemently that last night was though. With a furrowed brow she recalled her mother's pained face as she fell backwards into the well and the sounds of the sirens echoing hollowly against the well's stone walls. She could remember tripping over herself with her relief and joy at finally being able to return to her feudal age home, feeling pride for the village's growth and life. She remembered the desperation she felt searching for her friends, and she definitely remembered the shock and pain of finally seeing Inu Yasha again… with his family.

Unbidden, a tear squeezed out of her eyes. _Such a fool._

She was such a total fool.

Kagome rolled onto her side and curled into herself, feeling utterly lost and empty. She felt helpless. She felt as if the one place that could make everything better, that could fix everything, had betrayed her by being nothing but a dream. She felt as if nothing was the same, nothing could ever be the same. Inu Yasha was now completely out of her reach… even more so than when they were separated by 500 years… give or take. She really had been foolish to believe that everything was going to be as she had left it nearly a decade ago.

Last night, Kaede and Rin had appeared shortly after Kagome turned from Inu Yasha, both shocked and pleased at seeing the once missing miko from the future. Their appearance helped keep her from falling apart as they led her by the hand back to Kaede's. She was thankful that they did not ask her too many questions. They gave her tea and offered her something to eat, which she didn't remember ever eating. Based on the loud rumblings in her stomach, she guessed that she hadn't. Long after the other two went to sleep, Kagome had laid awake, listening to the crickets, and the quiet breathing of an old woman and a young girl.

Well past midnight, she had sensed Inu Yasha's presence getting closer and had a moment of panic. He had paused, probably sensing her alarm, before hopping onto the roof. She could imagine that he was scenting her, thinking and wondering why she was here, or if it really was her. The heavy feeling in her chest kept her pinned to her bedding despite knowing that he was waiting for her to come outside. She really wanted to see him, but her pain was keeping her still. After what felt like hours, he finally jumped down to the side of the hut where she lay.

"Are you afraid to come out, Kagome?" Came his gruff voice next to her, on the other side of the wall. Her eyes widened as his voice seemed to travel from her ears through her body. She couldn't tell whether his voice was sincere or mocking.

Her breath quickened and her fingers twisted in the blanket covering her chest. Afraid? Yeah… she was. She was afraid of what she would say, would he would say, what she would see… She was afraid of seeing him, because she knew that when she did, she would also see the little boy with the golden eyes who clung to his mother's legs. She would see the little boy who looked just like her hanyou friend during the night of a new moon.

He made a noise of exasperation and his voice sounded almost angry. "What are you doing here then?" He had said before leaving.

Currently, Kagome sighed and thought that that was a very good question. What was she doing here? She couldn't think of anything for her left to do or be in Edo. Kaede was teaching Rin-chan how to live as a miko. The young teenager didn't seem to have any holy powers, but she seemed to be of great help to Kaede and was knowledgeable about the herbs they seemed to be sorting outside. She could sense Miroku's holy powers nearby and she assumed that that meant Sango was there too, perhaps taking care of a large family. She hadn't sensed Shippo and could only think that he had gone off to find his own kind. What was her role? What did she possibly have left for her here? All of her excitement of being back had completely evaporated. She had gone from one world she didn't belong in, to yet another.

While feigning sleep, she contemplated. She couldn't go back home, but she couldn't stay.

Around late afternoon, just before dinner, Kagome finally left the hut, mainly driven by the need to relieve herself, but also because she knew that she couldn't just sulk in the corner all day. It hurt an incredible amount, but oddly enough, there was a sense of relief. She was used to the pain of unrequited love. After all, she had lived in the shadow of the dead Kikyo, and perhaps still did, for so long. During that time, however, she lived with the hope that he would choose her eventually if she stayed by his side. Seeing that he had married and had a child though… it felt like she at least knew where she stood now. She could no longer be strung along.

It didn't make her feel any less miserable though.

Afterwards, she joined Rin and Kaede by the fire and slumped down with a small snivel. Her companions remained quiet as Kagome chewed her lip. She rubbed her thumb against her skin and relished in the first comfortable, familiar feeling she had felt so far, ironically, given the awkward situation. How does one start a conversation with people you haven't seen for eight years?

With a heavy sigh that got their attention, she smiled ruefully at each and whispered, "Thank you."

Instantly, her words had a transforming affect and Kaede and Rin beamed at her. The atmosphere became light and Rin thrust a bowl made out of into her hands, chattering happily while the elder miko expressed that she was glad to see her healthy.

Kagome smiled softly and fed her empty stomach, laughing every now and then as Rin updated her with funny stories of all the people she knew.

As she had thought, Miroku, Sango, and their family lived nearby, currently taking care of their twins who had come down with a fever recently. Shippo wasn't exactly looking for anything in particular, just satisfying the wanderlust that usually kept him from the village. Apparently, he spent much time in Sesshomaru's lands where Jaken had become a favorite target of his tricks. This made Kagome grin, wondering if the regal lord allowed this because it amused him too. The last she knew, Shippo travelled with Kohaku who also refused to stay rooted in one location for long. Kagome noted that a small change overcame Rin's demeanor when she spoke of Sango's little brother. The adorable blush that hued Rin's pretty face also made Kagome grin, but she tried to hide it behind her cup as she sipped her tea.

"Kagome-sama! What about you? What have you been doing all these years?" The girl asked brightly, shoveling her own food in her mouth, gazing up at her expectantly. Rin missed the shadow of sorrow shade her eyes, but Kaede did not. Her old eyes were failing her, but as she had said before, Kagome was a very expressive person, especially if one knew where to look.

"Oh… where to begin…" Kagome mused and glanced upwards and opened her mouth to speak when a cry went out.

"Kagome-chan!"

"Kagome-sama!"

Two very familiar, very dear voices exclaimed as out of the corner of her eye, she saw two figures approaching rapidly. One of them was waving while the other pumped her arms in a full sprint towards them. Kagome stood slowly as she turned fully towards Sango and Miroku, suddenly filled with joy!

Kagome laughed as Sango barely slowed down enough to not completely plow into her and into the fire. The older woman sobbed her name as she tightly wrapped the young miko in her strong arms as her husband came up behind her, slightly more sedate with a very large smile on his handsome face. He wrapped his own arms around both of them, leaning his head on Kagome's for a moment as they all held each other.

"It is truly great to see you have returned, Kagome-sama," the monk said softly as his wife and long-lost friend continued to cry.

"I've missed you both so much," Kagome's voice shook, feeling the emotional dam she had constructed come tumbling down as they all sunk to their knees. "I'm back… now I'm back" She continued to whisper as her tears mingled with Sango's.

Sango was much softer and curvier than Kagome remembered, surely due to giving birth, and her maturity. She was still beautiful, but there was tiredness in her eyes now, and she seemed slightly worn. Miroku had also matured, his frame also thickening somewhat, his face had become more defined with laugh lines around his eyes, and he now wore his hair longer, his low pony tail reaching between his shoulder blades. He still carried his staff, but she no longer wore her slayer outfit beneath her kimono.

Once they were settled again, Rin immediately offered the new arrivals bowls of food after wiping away her own tears of happiness at the touching scene they had made. It wasn't long before the question she had asked before the couple's interruption came back up, and Kagome laughed and apologized to Rin.

"When I finally realized that I couldn't go back through the well, I finished my studies and spent time working at my family's shrine," Kagome replied succinctly. She had a smile on her face, but everyone knew there had to be more as they waited for her to go on. "Wh-what? Really, that's it." She took in their disbelieving faces and looked down at her hands. "I thought about going on to study further at what we call university, but… my grandfather got sick…" she trailed off as her eyes darkened, thinking back to what actually brought her here again. "And well… to help out, I stayed at home to tend to the shrine and through a variety of events, I ended up here!"

They all had observed the way her expression darkened and they knew there was still more that she wasn't telling them, however, they respected it. Perhaps, when she was ready, she would confide in them.

In a blind effort to keep the mood from becoming more morose, Sango asked, "Have you seen Inu Yasha yet?"

"Yeah, she seen me," A bitter voice joined the conversation as Inu Yasha stepped in, glaring at the group seated around the fire. "And before you ask, yeah, she's seen _them_ too." He turned his eyes onto Kagome, "But it's not as though she really cares about that anyway."

Kagome stared hard at the hands balling in her lap and refused to answer. In fact, she did care about that. She cared very much about it.

"So! How many children do you two have now?" Kagome chirped, trying to stay upbeat.

"Just three…" Sango smiled brightly, though Kagome watched it dim as her old friend looked off to the side as Miroku laid a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "We had twins shortly after you left… then a son. They're currently resting back at the hut. I know that they can't wait to meet you!"

Over her head, Miroku smiled gently in a way that didn't quite reach his eyes, "We had two more… but they died last year. Mami in the Spring and Yurika in the Winter."

Kagome felt her heart plunge and with empathy she whispered, "Oh Sango! Miroku! I'm so sorry! I wish that I could have come back for you," She grabbed the woman's hand and squeezed it earnestly.

"Psh… as if you would have," Inu Yasha growled.

Kagome looked up at him angrily, "I would if I could have."

He scoffed at her, "Yeah right, you probably had something keeping you back, huh? Tell us Kagome, who've you left back home in the future, huh? Who'd you abandon to be with us?"

"ARG!" Kagome shot to her feet, shaking with anger, "You know NOTHING!" She turned on her heel and strode heatedly away in what appeared to the direction of the well.

Sango pinned him with a vicious glare, "Inu Yasha! How could you say that? What is _wrong_ with you?" She hissed scathingly. Miroku and the others had all wondered to themselves if motherhood would mellow Sango, however, it seemed to do the very opposite. She was a loving, patient mother, but when feelings were hurt, it was as if all the aggression she normally got out of her system by slaying demons were condensed into the moments when she could expel her wrath. Never on the children, naturally, but Inu Yasha and Miroku, even Shippo and Kohaku, had experienced her ire. The demons in the group wondered if Sango realized just how much she reacted like any demon mother when their children or loved ones were attacked or hurt in anyway. They were bright enough and valued their lives enough not to mention it to her though.

"Keh!" Inu Yasha grumbled and crossed his arms in his sleeves, jerking his chin stubbornly into the air. "Fine… I'll go get her. She'll probably jump back in again or something and then I'll never get you off my back."

After he took off, Miroku, Rin, and Kaede all sighed simultaneously and shook their heads. Sango though, was the one to voice what they all seemed to be thinking: "Was it just me, or did he seem to be pretty happy about this?"

By their expressions, she knew that they had all seen the light in his eyes, and the way his mouth turned slightly upward.

"Maybe he made her mad intentionally?" Rin queried with a tilt of her head.

"Maybe… maybe not," Miroku reasoned. "We cannot forget that Inu Yasha was very hurt after Kagome-sama left. I do not think that he ever recovered and we all know how he handles emotions."

They all looked off into the forest where their friends had fled to. Each of them was secretly, guiltily acknowledging that they too were slightly pleased that things had not completely changed in the years since Kagome disappeared. Half-demon pisses off miko, miko stomps off, half-demon chases after miko, make-up, and brings miko back happy. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

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**AN: Yeah... not exactly my best chapter. I feel like I could have done a lot more with it, but well... I really just want to get the story going. This stuff isn't all that important to the story line... I like the next one better... :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Yep, still don't own it.**

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Kagome hadn't meant to end up at the well, she really hadn't, because after Inu Yasha, it was the last thing that she wanted to see.

She kicked it angrily. It really was the cause of all this, shikon no tama be damned. If only it worked when she wanted it to, but noooo, the wretched thing seemed to have a mind of its own. To keep from attracting any unwanted attention, she clenched her teeth to keep from screaming out her frustrations.

How could that jerk really think that she didn't care? That she _chose_ not to come back? She placed her palms on the lip of the well and hung her head between her arms, pulling in deep, shaky breaths in an effort to calm herself.

Kagome stood up straight and began to stride angrily around the small clearing. All this time she had waited. She had waited for him, even. And when she comes back, she sees that he didn't wait for her, and he gets angry at her? It didn't make sense! Or rather, she supposed that it did, but it simply wasn't fair!

"Running home already?" A snide voice interrupted her fuming as she paced around the well menacingly.

Her head whipped towards him, her eye alit with fury. "Wouldn't that make _you_ happy?"

Inu Yasha's eyes narrowed contemptuously, "Well seeing you come back now, of all times, certainly doesn't."

Kagome stopped her pacing short and looked away with angry hurt, clenching her fists at her side.

Her hanyou friend realized what he said at seeing the effects of his thoughtless words, and immediately flattened his ears, "I… I didn't mean that… I'm sorry, Kagome."

She closed her eyes, feeling as if there was something tight constricting her chest. "Yes, you did."

"Hey! I said I'm sorry! I don't know why I said that and… all those other things... You know how I get when I'm angry." He groused and folded his arms across his chest.

Kagome sighed and shook her head, "Yeah, you do, Inu Yasha." Her eyes had a faraway look to them when she opened them again. She wasn't dumb. She was fully aware of what her reappearance in his life meant for who used to be her best friend. Inu Yasha… the bitter, lonely victim of scorn, evil, and treachery was now a father and a husband. He had a stable position with the village community. He now had a place and role in life… and she wasn't meant to be in it.

She looked at him with a tragic smile and welling eyes, "Things will never go back to the way they used to be, Inu Yasha…. You've changed."

"_I've_ changed? What the hell do ya mean? Look at you! Looking all mopey and shit! Not telling us what's really going on, where you've been! I thought being here made you happy, being with me! " He yelled in retort.

She shook her head again and scoffed, "You have no idea what I've been through, and what did you expect? When I do come back, I find you with a wife and child. Don't you think I'd be a little shocked?"

"Maybe if you hadn't left when you did, none of that would've happened! You were gone for too long! Shit happened! Besides, you probably ran straight into that one guy's arms. What's his name?… Hobo! You probably never even tried to come back!" He hollered, baring fangs.

"You think I didn't try?" She shouted incredulously. "Every hour, every day, for weeks I tried! For years, I kept thinking that at any moment the well was going to change its mind and let me get back to you! I waited for you, for all these years! Inu Yasha! I waited for YOU!" She spun on her heel away from him, angry tears pricking her eyes.

Silence fell between them as the crickets continued their unaffected chirping. Kagome tried to take deep breathes to calm herself, looking up at the starry night sky to keep her tears in check. Inu Yasha stared at her back with an intense, severe gaze, wondering why he couldn't fight back like he normally would have: stubbornly refusing to believe her. He knew why, really, he always knew why he couldn't really ever fight her. He could never win. Kagome never lied. She always believed in him; even when he took her trust and threw it back in her face. She was absolutely the best thing that had ever happened to him. He would do anything… everything within his power for her. Only for her.

"Kagome, I-…" His hands raised helplessly, before falling limply back at his sides. "I didn't know." He looked down sightlessly. "I-…" It would be so much easier to make her the one in the wrong, to blame her for leaving and not coming back, for abandoning him, for leaving him without a choice. But… he didn't know, or at least, never fully believed it. Her absence was easier to deal with when he was angry.

He stepped closer and tried to speak, but stopped himself short whenever he began. What could he really say? The missing woman who was his everything finally returned to find that he had married and had a child. What was one supposed to say?

His pained expression studied the back of her head. He tilted his head and sighed deeply. He raised a clawed hand and clasped a lock of her hair between his index and middle fingers, running through it regretfully.

"Kagome. I'm… sorry." He whispered.

She whirled on him and looked up at him with angry eyes. "Yeah? Well me too." Her bitter words cut through both of them and he froze, shocked by her reaction. His expression broke through her angry, self-righteousness, and she closed her eyes, unfurling her brows and taking a deep breath, letting it out in a rush, her shoulder sagging. She shook her head and looked off to the side.

"There was nothing that we could have done." Her defeated voice passed murmuring lips.

Inu Yasha looked down at her with warm eyes and couldn't stop his hand from reaching up to run the back of his fingers down her smooth cheek. Unconsciously, she leaned in with a sigh. His breath caught as his heart thumped painfully against his chest. She was still so damn beautiful.

"Oh… what you do to me," He breathed lifting her face by her chin to look up at him. Her wide, gray-blue eyes searched his golden orbs, her heart speeding up as his proximity registered in her mind, beating faster and faster as he leaned in and softly pressed his lips against hers.

Kagome's mind blanked as she felt his once familiar lips grace hers. A kiss. It had been so long… she couldn't move. The kiss was brief and chaste and he moved to wrap his arms around her tightly, bowing his head to her neck and inhaling deeply, burying his nose in her hair, sending a shiver down her neck and spine as his warm breath fanned across her ear. He pressed her securely against his own body, so tightly that they could feel each other's heart beating rapidly and the air expanding their chests with each desperate breath.

"God, Kagome… I've missed you so much." His gruff voice was even rougher with emotion. His arm around her waist kept her pinned to him, and his hand cradled her head to his in an almost frantic attachment. "You don't know how long I waited for you at the well or how many times I tried jumping through or how many times I imagined seeing you again and holding you, like this."

Kagome was stiff in his warm embrace, before she relaxed as his familiar scent and touch wrapped around her. He had never held her like this before but it felt so… right? She hesitatingly raised her arms to limply return his hug. No, it felt nostalgic, like the first warm breath of summer after the snow.

Tears flooded her eyes and glistened in the moonlight, brimming brightly before making the short trek to his shoulder.

"Did you… miss me…?" The tremulous, fearful tone of his question broke her heart. She couldn't help the self-depreciative chuckle, and hugged him tighter.

"You have no idea." His body seemed to sag with some sort of relief, and he snuffled against her neck, rubbing his face against her. "I don't think that a single day went by without me thinking of you." She admitted and pressed her face into his shoulder, muffling her words. "It was just too much. I-I couldn't handle it."

He petted her soft hair, relishing in the feel of her, "Let's just pick up from where we were, Kagome. "

She froze and shook her head, "Inu Yasha, we can't. Too much has changed in both of our lives."

"Of course we can. Nothing has changed between us! I… I still care about you, a _lot_ Kagome. You can live in the village, with Kaede for a while until we can build you a hut. Or, you can stay with me and Hana-"

At the thought of spending her time in the same hut as the woman and child of the man she loved, Kagome grew rigid and withdrew from his arms. "…What…?" She looked at him incredulously.

"Or we can just start over, Kagome? You say so much has changed, so let's just get to know each other again. Stay with us." His eyes seem to light up with the prospect of Kagome staying near him. Kagome got along and loved everyone. She would certainly accept his son, and it might take some time, but surely Hana and her could be friends, just like with Sango!

"Inu Yasha… no, that… I just… no, I can't." She took a few more steps away wondering how he could suggest a thing. "You have a family now, Inu Yasha. One that I can't just step into." She continued shaking her head. She couldn't believe he'd suggest such a thing.

"C'mon Kagome, it's not as if they don't know who you are. They know all about what happened. Hell, Hana was there, she remembers you. She likes you! And Denjiro, the brat's just like Shippo," He crossed the distance between them and grabbed her shoulder.

"But I don't know them!" Kagome gasped. "I can't do this, Inu Yasha, please." She jerked her shoulder out of his grasp.

He looked at her for a moment, appraising her with a hard look, "You have nowhere else to go, Kagome. Rin's still shacked up with Kaede, Miroku and Sango barely have room for their brood, and while the villagers like ya and everything, you're not exactly a good omen." He smirked at her, crossing his hands across his chest again.

"What about Kouga? I could go and visit him for a while." She countered, not really partial to the idea, but it was somewhere.

Inu Yasha immediately growled and snarled at her, "Kouga? Why the fuck would you want to go stay with that mangy wolf? And not me?"

"Why not Kouga? He was a good friend during those years searching for the shards. Besides, it's not you that's the problem…" She turned away.

"Oh… I see, you're jealous," He grinned at her, pleased when he saw her ears turn red, "Cuz I've got Hana, you thought you'd move onto someone who's still free, well guess what sister, Kouga's already mated. To Ayame."

Kagome scowled ferociously, unsurprised that her wolf friend and the Princess of the White Wolves had gotten together, "You really are an idiot." She began to walk back towards the village. Now that she was a little older and wiser, she realized what it was that she sometimes felt around him. It was a heavy feeling, making her head feel like concrete, and arms droop towards the ground as if pulling along barbells. She felt suffocated.

"Kagome, stay with me." He insisted again, easily catching up and walking behind her.

"No, Inu Yasha."

"Why?" He shouted imperiously.

"Because I'm not going to do that to her!" She turned to him and shouted. "If I live with you, how do you think Hana will feel? How do you think _I_ will feel? Yeah, it sounds great on paper, but seriously think about it, you moron! You can't just go around and start making these decisions on your own, Inu Yasha." Her voice gradually lowered and she gazed upon his face with all the stubbornness that he missed. "I appreciate the offer, Inu Yasha…. I really do. But, I can't do this. I won't." With a last lingering look, she began to head towards Kaede's hut again. "I can do this on my own."

"I will do this… without you."

* * *

**AN: Poor Inu Yasha... if only life and relationships were that simple. Don't worry, this is strictly a SessxKag story, but I'm not rushing it. Inu Yasha... and maybe someone else... will certainly make it interesting for Kagome though... ;)**


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